I Prefer Au Revoir
by KidKourage
Summary: I hate to say 'goodbye,' and 'adios' sounds too flip, and 'farewell,' is corny, and I can't pronounce 'aufweidersein' properly...hence the title. Read this if you love me, and I know you all do...^_^


I Prefer Au Revoir

A Goodbye Story from KidKourage

_'__I__'m Going Out…__I__ May Be Some Time.__'~__D__EATH_

Any Pratchett fans out there (I'm looking at _you_, Kat23a) will appreciate the title as well as the above quote.  All others…well…in the words of the Almighty Purple-sama, 'You should've tried harder.'

The scene is KidK's house, and in her universe it is the middle of winter break.  This wonderful period of time lasts for an entire month, in great contrast to normal skool's Christmas break.  Needless to say, skool is back in session for Mike and the others.  On this day, KidK has decided to take a short midday nap, on account of she almost never slept during the semester and is now catching up on both that and food consumption.  However, when she wakes up, she will get the shock of her life.

KidK:  Mmmmm…ahhhhh…good sleep.  Now it's time to go pester Mom!  Moooooom! (a/n: this is mostly how I spent my winter vacation)

KidK's Mom:  Yes, Missy?

KidK:  Isn't it almost time to go pick up Mike and Zim?

KidK's Mom:  Mike and who?

KidK:  Zim!

KidK's Mom:  Who?  Oh…one of your little imaginary friends?

KidK:  Yeah, yeah, real cute Mom.  Speaking of which, where's Gir?  Usually he comes in and pounces on me at the slightest hint that I might be asleep.

KidK's Mom:  How many imaginary people _have_ you made up in that crazy head of yours?

KidK:  OK, that's enough.  Stop fooling around.

KidK's Mom (indignant):  Who, exactly, do you think you're talking to?

KidK:  I _think_ I'm talking to _you_!  Why are you pretending that you don't know who Zim and Gir are?  They've been living in our house for nine months!

KidK's Mom:  Okaaaay…maybe you've had a little too much nap today.

KidK:  Alright, if I don't have a friend named Zim, then where do you suppose I got _this_?  (she pulls up her sleeve, intending to display her wrist-communicator)  Huh?  Where did it--?

Mysterious Voice (complete w/ echo reverb!):  Time Stop!

Suddenly, KidK's Mom, and everything else in KidK's world, freezes in place.  Our heroine looks around, confused as to what's going on, when suddenly there's a puff of magic sparkly smoke (left over from Magical Dude Mike-the-Awesome) and then there are two KidKs in the room, the newcomer looking slightly older and much more sleep-deprived than the KidK we know and love.

KidKourage:  Hello, KidK.

KidK:  Wha--?  _Me_?!  _Another_ me?!  OK, either I'm hallucinating or the world has gone horribly wrong.

KidKourage:  Actually, you're not too far off with that last guess.  Though you're a leeetle bit confused about who I am.  You see, I'm not you.

KidK:  You're not?  You sure as heck _look_ like me.

KidKourage:  Perhaps.  But still, I'm not _exactly_ you.  In fact, it's much closer to say it the other way around—that _you're_ _me_.

KidK:  I'm confused.

KidKourage:  I think I would be too, in your situation.  Let me explain.  You, poor thing that you are, are my alter ego.  I live in the real world, while you live in the world of my Invader Zim fanfiction.  In essence, you live in my head.

KidK:  Invader Zim?  You mean like my friend Zim?  You know where he _is_?!  Where _is_ he?!  What've you _done_ with him?!

KidKourage:  Now, just calm down.  That's just what I'm here to tell you about.  You see, though it is only the beginning of January here in your corner of my brain, in the real world it's already January 21.  And you _know_ what _that_ means.

KidK:  The beginning of the spring semester?

KidKourage:  Yes, indeed.  And, unfortunately, it _also_ means that KidKourage once again must hang up her fanfiction in favor of college homework.

KidK:  So lemme get this straight—I'm a fanfiction character who lives in your head, and now that you can't write anymore my world is all screwed up?

KidKourage:  Wow, you really _are_ me!  Veeeery quick on the uptake, we are!  Yes, that's the reason why your world is, as you've so eloquently put it, 'screwed up.'  I've been charged by the parental units—the real ones—to purge my mind of all distractions that might get in the way of a productive semester.  I can't get rid of _you_, obviously, since deep down you're the person I wish I was and so I clearly can't erase my thoughts of you.  However, your friends are people who _aren't_ me, and so they were more easily displaced—though when I say 'more easily' I don't mean that it was easy.

KidK:  But…why?  Why does _my_ world have to be dull and ruined just because _yours_ is?  You can't just get rid of Zim and Gir and everybody like that!

KidKourage:  I'm afraid I already have.  You get to stay on in my subconscious, as my optimistic, cheerful head-voice-person who always pulls me out of sadness-mode, but they…they always make me happy too…but that's the whole point!  (she's desperately trying to convince herself)  My only happiness right now should be derived from the pursuit of academic excellence!  I must have no recreation until my assignments are completed and completed to the best of my ability!  No fun for me, lest my mind become clouded and full of daydreams!

KidK:  Daydreams…yes…I remember, before my friends came along…I was all alone…and I'd spend so much time wishing that I had someone to talk to…someone to be with…someone to love…and then…

KidKourage:  And then I gave you some friends to play with.  Well, not _me_, technically; _I_ didn't create them and—

KidK:  'Create?'  '_Create_?!'  My friends are my _friends_!  They're _people_!  Well, not Gir, really, he's a robot, but you know what I mean!

KidKourage:  Oh, you poor doomed child.  Have you thought hard about what the word 'fanfiction' means?

KidK:  So…they're all just characters in some supposedly 'real-world' TV show?

KidKourage:  Well, not Johnny and Squee.  They're from a comic book.  A really _good_ comic book.  But all the others are from a—

KidK (abruptly):  Do you love them?

KidKourage:  What?

KidK (more firmly):  _Do_…_you_…**_love_**…_them_?

KidKourage (she looks uncomfortable):  Well…yes…

KidK:  Then why evict them from your brain?  Sure, you have to work on skool stuff, but even if you can't write you can still _dream_!

KidKourage:  Hmmm…an interesting thesis.  You refer, I surmise, to the fact that our parents cannot technically regulate my thought processes?

KidK:  Or your emotions!  If you love someone, you can't just suddenly stop _thinking_ about them!  In fact, to try to might actually be to your detriment!  Like the old saying—'don't think about pink elephants.'

KidKourage:  And than you _do_ think about pink elephants.

KidK:  Right.  If you attempt to keep yourself from thinking about my…_our_ friends, you won't be able to _stop_ yourself from doing just that.  But if you just keep Zim and Dib and all the others in your mind and heart while you work your hardest at skool…

KidKourage:  …then I can always turn my mind to daydreams when I'm not busy, without feeling guilty about it, thus allowing _you_ to have fun and create my inspiration for all the stories I'm going to write when May rolls around!

KidK:  Right!  So you see my point?

KidKourage:  KidK, I _always_ saw your point.  I just needed someone to convince me that I was right…and who knows my mind better than me?

KidK:  So…my friends are coming back?

KidKourage:  Oh, yeah!  Poof!  They're back.

KidK:  Well, _that_ was rather anticlimactic.

KidKourage:  Hey, what were you expecting?  I'm not good with special effects.

KidK:  No kidding.  You really should work on that.

KidKourage:  All right, _now_ you're overstepping your boundaries.  You're a head-voice and my personal role-model, but that doesn't mean you can tell me what to do.

KidK:  Just don't let my world get all boring-like.  And don't make me fall cheesily in love with anyone.

KidKourage:  Heh, that's up to _me_, now isn't it?  Anyway, I've gotta go do some random real-world type stuff now, so…bye!

KidK:  Hey, wait!  I'm not through with you!

KidKourage (mock sinister):  Oh _no_, KidK, you mean that _I'm_ not through with _you_.  Aha…ahahahahahaaaaa…okay, enough of that.  Time, Time, Time…Start Up Again!  See ya later, my child.  ^_^

KidK (smiling):  Bye, Mom!  ^_^

KidKourage poofs back out of existence, once again filling the room with magical mysterious smoke and sparkles.  

KidK's Mom (snapping out of her trance):  And _furthermore_…what was I saying?

KidK:  You were just telling me that it was time to go pick up Mike and Zim from skool.

KidK's Mom:  Oh, right.  Do you want to come along?

KidK:  Yeah!  Can we pick up Dib and Gaz too and hang out together this afternoon?  

KidK's Mom:  Well…I suppose you _are_ on break…

KidK:  Yay!  I'll get Gir!  Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir!

Gir:   Missyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

KidK:  Come with Mom and me to pick up everyone!

Gir:  Whee!  Master and Mikey and Dibby and Gazzy are coming home!  Can we call Squeezy and have a snowball fight?

KidK:  Sounds like fun!  Go find his phone number!

Gir:  'kay!  (he runs off)

KidK's Mom:  Ay, yi, yi…(she goes to start up the car)

KidK (oblivious):  I'm going to have so much fun today—with my _friends_.  And later, 'Nny-kun will come over and we'll sit on the roof and watch the stars together all night long because I'm in lo…KidKourage!  

KidKourage (spooky disembodied whisper):  Yeeeees?

KidK:  Cut it out!

KidKourage:  Heehee!  Yamerarenai!

_The End!_

_See Ya In May, Folks!_

Thank you to all who have read and reviewed my stories.  You make my insanity seem worthwhile.  Sweet daydreams, everyone!

Oooo, and before I forget, some people wanted a translation of the Spanish Happy Noodle Boy comic from So I Spent—well, here it is!

'Happy Noodle Boy in Spain:  My shoes are full of cheese, and I don't have any bread!  What must I do when the cows give me the evil eye?!  I deny you, Mister Salsa, because you don't sing me the song of happy black beans!  Arf, says the dog while he plays with his balls (not _that_ kind)!  Wait, my butterfly of butter!  I want to smell you and make you my bride, but nobody is going to the clothing store!'

OK…well…that's it…I MISS YOU CUPCAKE!  

2/7/02  10:35 PM

_~Z?~_


End file.
